Not a mote, not a speck
Dares stand before her
Dares stand before her
A whoosh and a sweep
And the dust bunnies run for cover
And the dust bunnies run for cover
Let me introduce you to the neatness nazi, the cleanliness freak, the
stain-hater of the family...she is the one who has given a whole new meaning to
the term 'spotless'. In her school classroom, she wields the duster on the
blackboard. At home, she wields it on the filth. She will scrub and re-scrub
even when the cleaning lady has done her job and left.
My mother has a thing
against untidy things. It irks her real bad, so much so that I think she is
probably on the verge of being an ablutomaniac. But Providence has sent me to
Earth to countervail her tendencies.
Mom sometimes calls me a
tramp in her rage. Like when she finds my bed sheet stretched up far back to
reveal the mattress beneath. Or when my laptop and I canoodle in bed right
before I shut down for the night (while the laptop stays on till it loses all
its charge and shuts down in its own time). Or when I decorate my bed with
foodstuffs of all kinds and refuse to remove the packet of unfinished biscuits
and the bottle of water from it. These and many more such instances justify her
sobriquet for me 'cause according to her, I behave like a hobo in my own home,
stacking everything on the bed and treating my room and the rest of the house
like a street. And so right before my cousins were to visit us after a really long
time, mom charged into my room and warned me to clear up my space and get
things in order.
"I am sick of doing
your room.” she began in her don’t-you-dare-mess-with-me voice. “They are
coming tomorrow. You better get this hole of yours to look decent. Like a part
of the rest of the house."
I know when it's a
harmless warning and I know when it's an order. It was the latter this time. I
could tell by her tone. So I did the only thing people of my generation are
capable of. And swift came Dr. Google to the rescue. I came across these 10
pointers on how to do a quick job of making one’s place look clean. I said
‘look’ because I only meant for it to 'look' presentable. I wasn’t about to
actually clean! Duh!
https://www.rewardme.in/home/home-decor/article/10-simple-ways-to-make-your-house-look-cleaner-every-day
As I looked at the pretty picture on the webpage and scrolled down the article, things began
to seem quite simple and not so arduous a task as I might have been led to
believe by my fears.
Gave my Aristotle and Plato (my dear goldfishes) some food for thought! |
And so I began. I decided to clear the bed and dust out my bed sheet. But looking at the food stains and the crumpled state of the poor sheet, I decided to just chuck it in the laundry basket and get a new one instead. When I got my bed a nice new red-white-black sheet, my eyes fell on the crumbs and bits lying about on the floor. They looked out of place with the immaculate bed now. And so I got a broom to just sweep them into a corner. Just a superficial sweep, you see. Then as I started keeping the articles back into their respective places, I found some of the places caked with dust. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to clear the area a bit. A little wipe here and a little sponge there. By and by, I went from nook to cranny and ended up covering the entire room, cleaning out corners and unearthing clumps of hair, tissue papers, half broken pencils, old rubber bands and suchlike.
So, you see what the
article was all about? Instead of a few quick cleaning tips, it was a recipe for spring
cleaning. Suave !
I so felt like jumping right onto the bed and messing it all up again |
Mom came home from the market, carrying a huge bag of vegetables and fruits. She entered my room and doubled back.
“Did elves visit the tramp?” she deadpanned. I rolled my eyes.
Frankly, though, I was surprised at my own efforts. I had done a pretty good job of tidying up. My den looked like other rooms now, even better perhaps!
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