The
beauty of music, the contentment that results from having stuffed yourself with
food, the adda golpo that accompanies every get together- all these
things and much much more characterize the bengali spirit. Every now and then,
the music, art and dance in me rear their heads and my Bengali roots clutch at
my heart. I know Durga Puja is a month away. But the singer in me has started
humming dhaaner khete and ekla cholo re. For all the Bongs out
there!
The
oppressive heat of the morning had given way to a light soothing breeze in the
twilight hours. The evening was graduating to a black moonless night. Sudipto
breathed a deep draught of the night air. It was quiet around him. He cherished
the tranquillity. It was one of the few things he didn’t miss about Kolkata.
Although, if asked to choose between the Delhi kerfuffle and the Kolkata
hullabaloo, he would gladly take the latter. He picked his guitar from the car
and strolled ahead. The breeze whipped his face and sent a wave of contentment
through him. He took easy strides across the grass, wanting to take his
slippers off and walk barefoot on the sward which gleamed emerald in the night.
It did not matter to him that a thousand-plus crowd awaited his songs; he sang
only because he wanted to.
The
stage was crowded with a dozen people hovering about, trying to get things
right. Some way behind him, his bandmates were hauling all the instruments out
of the SUV, that had been sent to receive them. Sudipto wandered off to an area
away from the stage and came across clusters of people chatting away. Gleeful
sounds of laughter, giggles and banter reached his ears. As he came closer, he
could hear the phrases that he was accustomed to, in his hometown.
“Hay-bee laagchhish(Looking great!)”, he heard a changda chhele compliment another chhora. It was weird that all the sounds and voices sounded the same to him. It was as if all bengalis had the same voice, the same tone. You would feel as if the woman saying “ki re (what’s up?)” or “khaisis? (Had any food?)” might just be your mother or sister. In case of his mother, it was not really valid. He saw Maa everywhere. If there was one thing in life that he regretted not doing, it was not taking his mom along with him when he left home. Leaving home had not been difficult for him except that his mother’s crying face had haunted every song of his. He decided to leave on a spur of the moment. It came to him naturally. He never accepted any circumstance that obstructed him from doing what he liked to do. And what he liked to do was to immerse himself in music and let go. Music was his religion and his instruments were his oblations.
“Hay-bee laagchhish(Looking great!)”, he heard a changda chhele compliment another chhora. It was weird that all the sounds and voices sounded the same to him. It was as if all bengalis had the same voice, the same tone. You would feel as if the woman saying “ki re (what’s up?)” or “khaisis? (Had any food?)” might just be your mother or sister. In case of his mother, it was not really valid. He saw Maa everywhere. If there was one thing in life that he regretted not doing, it was not taking his mom along with him when he left home. Leaving home had not been difficult for him except that his mother’s crying face had haunted every song of his. He decided to leave on a spur of the moment. It came to him naturally. He never accepted any circumstance that obstructed him from doing what he liked to do. And what he liked to do was to immerse himself in music and let go. Music was his religion and his instruments were his oblations.
***
The
audience consisted of two kinds of people-those interested in the band and
those interested in the idea of entertainment. A precious few were seated
patiently on the front rows. Most of the others were torn between commenting on
the politics of the country, discussing the cultural complications of being probaashi (immigrants) bangaalis, ogling at the designer sarees, inquiring about the impending saree
melas and...indulging in the favorite bengali pastime- FOOD, all in
capitals. Everyone save those precious few, had their mouths full, either with
gossip or with kathi roll, ghugni, puchka, biryani or jhaal muri.
Sudipto
plonked down on the grass, some distance away from the crux of the crowd.
Although he was not someone to be noticed easily since he could easily pass off
as a rundown college guy with an old guitar, he still preferred solitude. He
squatted cross-legged as if he was about to play the sitar. And his
fingers brushed the strings of his guitar, creating tunes his mind liked the
most. He looked at his band mates who were being given kingly treatment by the
managers. Sudipto abhorred the fakeness of it. He hated the obsequious
treatment he would receive whenever he went anywhere as part of his band. He
hated the yawning gap in the behavior towards Sud, as he was called by his
fans, and Sudipto. He saw Taposh at the forefront of the band, discussing
something with a person in a two-piece suit.
Sudipto
averted his eyes. He couldn’t understand why it was so bitter between Taposh
and himself. He just couldn’t remember when such a rift had arisen. Taposh had
always been the hoity-toity guy, the boss, the one with the lead, the one with
all the contacts. However, Sudipto was the public face of the band- Sud, as he
was fondly called by the people around him. Taposh did not envy this. He did
not mind Sudipto hogging the limelight. What bothered Taposh was the fact that
Sudipto did not accept him as the boss. He, Taposh, bagged the contracts, drew
the schedules for practice and made the arrangements. He was the one who had
led the band to fame, who had got the members together, who had found Sud via a
common friend and convinced him to join the band. Was Sud grateful to Taposh
for introducing him to the world of lucre? It did not really matter to Sudipto.
He would have survived on two square meals a day, by taking classes or singing
in hotels. He sang because it was his chosen religion. He did not follow any
rules. He missed a lot of rehearsals. He cancelled commitments at the last
moment. Yet, Taposh persisted with him. Whether it was out of companionship or
to keep the band intact, no one knew or cared. All that was apparent was that
Taposh and Sud were nearly always at loggerheads. And the bad guy usually was
Sudipto.
As
Sud mulled over his relationship with his fellow band mate, he felt some
auditory aberration. The vibration was not just of his instruments but of a
foreign nature. Before he knew it, his hand fished his cellphone out of his
pocket. It was time for his show. “Aashchhi (coming)”, Sud spoke into the phone and started moving towards
the backstage area.
“Check.
Check 1-2-3-check-check.”
“Tone
down the guitar a little.”
“Amp
up the keyboard.”
Sud
had come into his own now. The testing had to be perfect. The sound quality
should be just right. Else, he would leave the stage as he had done twice
before. This was one of the few matters on which Taposh and he were on the same
page.
Sud
started humming a Rabindra sangeet song. His melodious baritone tugged
at the audience’s hearts and in an instant, all the attention was riveted on
him. He, then stopped abruptly and went on with the checking procedure
imperiously. The audience, freed from the spell, went back to adda, golpo (chat) and
khawa-dawa (grub and nosh).
Finally,
the sound was in order and the drums were in place. The members had taken their
positions and the audience waited with bated breath. They were scheduled to
start with the first song of their latest album.
However,
Sud suddenly had an urge to go traditional. He wanted to start with a Rabindra sangeet.
He hardly listened to Taposh’s protests that it would upturn their planned
circuit. He felt that this was the song-the only song that should be sung that
night at the opening of their performance. Before the rest of the band had come
to terms with the unexpected change, Sud had closed his eyes and begun with his
soothing mesmerizing rich voice-
“Graam
chhada oi raanga maather pauth Aamaar Maun Bhulaayye Re...”
(The
reddish soil leading away from my village makes my mind wander...)
There
was pin-drop silence among the audience. Sud never failed to deliver, never
failed to bewilder, never failed to make people fall in love with him. He sang
as if to each one, personally; there was a special touch to his singing, as if
he physically touched those who listened to his voice. He always sang for
himself. All the same, he sang to each one of those who listened to his silver
tones.
Taposh
played the flute, his second instrument, apart from the drums. The others
contributed to the melange in such a way that there was no telling who was
singing what. When the song came to a close, there was a resounding applause
from the audience as if they were trying valiantly to arouse themselves from
the Sud spell.
Soon
enough, a new song poured forth from Sudipto’s voice box. It was a soulful one,
from their own album- “Beginning from the End”. The Sud spell had everyone in a
grip again and Taposh momentarily forgot the issues between them, delving into
their music comradeship and revelling in their heavenly synergy. Maybe that is
why he put up with Sud. For this duet that united them the way nothing could.
The
medley went on for a good half hour with the audience up in a dance. Bengalis
don’t need much encouragement for either music or dance. They are literally
M.A.D. ; music, art and dance reside in their blood. The audience seemed drunk
with music. Sud started with the final song of the night. He looked ahead at
the gyrating audience, at the black night, at his alter ego. Taposh was drunk
in the music too. His locks had come loose from the rubber band he had used to
hold them in place. Sudipto wondered about what he had put the people he loved
through. He had hurt his mother, never listened to his father,struck up
quarrels with his only friend in the world-Taposh. He had let down people. Even
though he had never meant to. He was not made for relationships. Of any sort.
He was made for his music. He began and ended with his music. Sud knew what his
last song would be.
“Shedin
dujone...dule chhinu bone... ”
(Remember
that day when the two of us played on the swing in the woods…?)
“Ekhon
amar bela nahi aar, bohibo ekaki biroher bhar-
Bandhinu je rakhi porane tomar she rakhi khulo na khulo na...”
Bandhinu je rakhi porane tomar she rakhi khulo na khulo na...”
(I
do not have much time left now. Its time for me to carry the burden of my
solitude.
Do
not forget the bond I share with you, the band of friendship we tied with our
souls. )
And
then, at the final syllable, all the sounds ceased. His guilt had evaporated.
His feelings were mere shadows. Nothing was real now. Nothing but his music.
He
saw everyone rushing hither and thither. But he felt still. Oddly still. He
couldn’t hear anything. Everything was as if on mute. The movements of the
people surrounding him had also slowed down. He felt light, weightless. He
looked down. And there it was, Sudipto Basu lying spread-eagled on the stage,
his hands clutching his guitar.
***
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