A Daily Dose of Adventure

( published in The Hindu- Open Page, March 7, 2015 issue )

Why shell out money to experience ‘adventure’ in a wonderland when autorickshaws and buses can give you the ultimate theme park experience every day?

The roller coaster autorickshaw ride or the daily adventure — call it what you will.

A horde of vehicles flashed past. I made as if to run. Just then, a bus came from nowhere and blundered ahead, foiling my efforts. After about a minute of dilly-dallying, which appeared to me like hours, I dashed across the road, as if my life depended on it. Without stopping at the security entrance, I urged my legs to run faster. And even faster. And then finally! The moment I had been waiting for, finally arrived. I flashed a card at a device glowing red and beeping assent, making me feel as if I had just secured my entry into the FBI headquarters. Phew! But it was not 935 Pennsylvania Avenue. Welcome to a regular day of a regular week at work!

My friends often ask me, “Why don’t you take a cab or something?” My usual response is: “There are hardly any people coming from my end. Anyway, let’s see how long it lasts.”

Yes, I too am a proponent of the chalta hai movement. As long as it works, as far as it goes. Always pushing the envelope, always testing the limits. “You could bring a car, you know,” someone suggested. And spend an hour and a half staring at the ball of fire, turning red, green or orange, with my hands stuck to the steering wheel, switching between radio channels trying to locate one devoid of garrulous cranks trying to mobilise support for elections or selling products? Thank you, I’m fine. My friends fail to see my reasons for opting for public transport.

A nine-hour desk job involving sitting in front of the computer screen, letting the monitor radiation bore into my nearly empty head, is not exactly exciting. On the other hand, a bumpy roller coaster ride in a shared auto while eavesdropping on the conversations of the innocuous and unsuspecting passengers, who assume that no one would be interested in their lives (perhaps no one would, except crackpots like me) is the kind of thing that fires me up for the day. Although the clichéd corny old songs that mark the ambience of the vehicle warrant the use of cotton earplugs, they sort of provide a comic contrast to the severe and focussed attitude of the passengers, making me giggle into my shirt, providing much-needed jocular relief.

So, why wait for the weekend to shell out a precious bunch of notes to experience ‘adventure’ in a wonderland when there are ready-made amusement parks along the roads, what with speed breakers, potholes and construction sites; with autorickshaws and buses doubling up as roller coasters to give you the ultimate theme park experience every day?

Are you the daring and plucky sort? Well, that is even better since there are no safety precautions or security latches on these improvised swings. Come to think of it, the daily sprint before boarding the bus to the dash after alighting from it to the race between me and the steady competitor of time, to the punching machine of my office, actually ensures that I get a decent amount of exercise and helps keep me in shape.

Add to that the pleasure of anonymity it offers. No questions asked except ‘where to?’; no answers needed except a currency note with a photograph of the Mahatma printed on it. No uncomfortable conversations or vexing gossip, no exchange of plastic smiles or inane worldly goings-on. Just plain staring into space, dozing off or wondering about the lofty but useless ideals like the origin of man and the stars and the world…

For a potential flaneur, I can’t envisage a better start to the day. Especially for a woman, who has practically no chance of perambulation in the rape-stained society today, this method of flanerie is a blessing in disguise.

Can the sombre confined cab climate with a poker-faced driver and stuck-up crotchety cab-fellows match the vibrant, unpredictable motley of people, events and the atmosphere of the bus or autorickshaw? Add to that the exorbitant amount of monthly charges coupled with extra sops to be paid to the driver for change of timings or weekend travel, besides the walking out of a certain passenger or the clash of timings with some other, and the pros for public transport keep mounting. Did I forget to mention the recent sexual assault in a hired cab? But let us not grade cab service by a one-off mishap, because in that strain, one could cite the Nirbhaya episode that happened in a bus.

My family might not approve of my idea of adventure but in the face of drab desk life, paucity of time and limited opportunities for women to wander, this appears to be my best shot.

The Ten Commandments

‘Let there be light!’ And the world is created as per my will. My improvised holy book has these ten commandments ready for the newly created world. Behold my letter to the humankind! Here are my Ten Commandments...

Thou shalt :

1. try and keep trying.

It is important to go the extra mile. You know the saying that I give a bird its food but do not throw it into its nest. Keep it in mind. I didn't spend 6 days and 6 nights, fashioning gazillion types of cells, organs and limbs for you to let them decay to disrepair. Enjoy them and use them.

2. know thyself.

The self is the fount of all wisdom and joy. When you discover the secret of the self, learn to love, understand and forgive yourself, a much deeper level of understanding develops in you, that enables you to learn and understand the others around you. The secret of the universe lies in your soul.    

3. be more tolerant.

What's different is not wrong. Even cannibalism has its roots and logic somewhere. Do not freak out. Darwin was not called the father of evolution for nothing. Adaptation and tolerance go a long way in sustenance.

4. Accept.

Accept what happens to you and do not live in hallucinations hoping for things to change as per your wishes. I have created you; I know about you and the world more than you do. Trust me and accept the situations I bestow on you. Don’t haggle, fight and complain every time.   

5. Accept again.

This point needs drilling because it is hard for people to accept themselves, which in turn makes it hard for them to accept others. It is okay to not be perfect, it is okay to sin once in a while (only once in a while!), it is okay to fail. Learn to accept the facts of life. Learn to accept failures. And everyone makes mistakes (I did too when I created man. Then I corrected it by creating his alter ego. And no, I am not a feminist. That was a joke. And yes I can joke. What else do you think the earth was? The above line was a joke as well -_- I might need to brush up on these earthly skills )

6. not envy or hate or give in to any negative emotions.

Two negatives have never made a positive, except in math and math has never helped you get over a break up, has it? Avoid negative feelings like kids avoid green vegetables. Despair has never taken you anywhere and never will.

7. not be violent.

Slap! How does that feel? That stings right? Remember this corollary ‘don't do to others that you don't want others to do to you’? The reason why I prohibit violence.

8. be kind.

It is a commandment yes, not a choice. Violence is not just physical, it is also metaphysical and psychological. Violence is forbidden on all the planes of existence. If you defect to my foe Satan's army, beware! I am gonna do nothing, yes, nothing to save you from your own destruction.

9. question and use the ingenious contraption I gifted you.

I didn't waste 6 days in vain to create my best creation so far-the brain. Don't insult me and my efforts by filling my holy machine with crap. Use it and make the world a better place to live.

10. love.

The good old mantra for everlasting happiness. Whatever you say or do, this mantra will hold true always. It is a mojo of the most ancient and the most powerful talismans. It is the bedrock of all the universe, it is the glue that holds the world together, it is the orbit that keeps the entities of the universe in motion, it is the source of all my power, the secret ingredient of my creation. It is the only language I understand, the only way to reach me.

The true transformation, the true change is effected inside. The rest merely follow.

Behold mortals! Here is the world remade!

I am participating in the #TheWorldRemade activity at BlogAdda in association with India Today #Conclave15

 

The World Remade...or Unmade?

Whispers from a forgotten yesterday breeze through my present day as I read the title of the latest BlogAdda challenge- World remade. I remember how they used to get me all confused, those baffling and yet the most FAed (Frequently Asked) questions in extempore or essays- what would you do if you were the PM for a day? If I was Shahrukh Khan for a day...if I was invisible for a day...if I got hold of Aladdin's magic lamp for a day and so on and so forth. This 'Act God for a day' simulacrum of those oft-asked questions amused me. Like the ambitious project of the ruling party at the Centre-Make in India, I found this Playing God game another attempt at controlling and monitoring mankind and carrying out passive activism via this trite yet ambitious thought experiment. Shape the world in your ideals, create your idyll, your own utopia. What would you do? Make sure the religious fanatics and extremists do not commit manslaughter in the name of the Creator (in your name you mean!) ? Ensure the women lead lives of dignity? Feed the hungry, clothe the poor, help the downtrodden and reward the do-gooders? I would love a world of optimum balance, a world where people are not afraid to voice their beliefs, a world where the concept of violence does not exist, where equality is marred only by a distinction based on merit, a world where 'no man lives for the sake of another man', a world where 'the mind is without fear and the head is held high'...

But I wonder can there be a world where such idealities exist, where such a perfect balance be maintained? A world where there is no misery and no pain? A utopia? A paradise?

It struck me that the root of all imbalance lies in the capacity of deceit in the mind. The complexities of the human brain and the unpredictability of it all creates the foundation for every kind of joy and cheer, crime and punishment that ever existed. What if I as a Creator dissolve the barriers between all the minds? Such that there is no way to mask one's feelings? No way to show that you are happy when you are bleeding inside? No way to betray someone because the intent is plain to the other? Yes, I am talking of telepathic conversations. What if every entity from the tiniest atom/quark to the largest planets and the most advanced species have the same medium of communication-the same language? What if all the entities are unified at a certain level with a common language to their rescue? In that case, the lamb wouldn't let the lion feast on it and the earth wouldn't let us humans till it and thence, wars would result. Fierce and unabated, unparalleled and unprecedented wars that would have no winner, for life itself exists only because some entities feed on some other entities. Life manages to exist only because it exists in this manner. It just wouldn't exist in any other way. The battles, the wars, the ideal clashes, the terrors and the beauty, all of them exist because the world has been made the way it has been made. If the world is remade, it just wouldn't exist. The world remade is either this or none!

I am participating in the #TheWorldRemade activity at BlogAdda in association with India Today #Conclave15

 

The Varied Valentines

"Do you like this watch?"

"What about this jeans?"

"Pretty earrings for a pretty face!"

"This top is tailor made for you "

"Do spare a glance here as well"

"You know, its like the Cinderella story, these shoes will fit only you. You must take them!"

"It's Valentine's day! You deserve this."

"A tattoo will look gorgeous on you, believe me!"

"Okay whatever you say madam! Just say what you want and I will get it for you!"

"Biscuits?" "Tea?" "Kathi Rolls?"

"You must take this jacket...I want you to have it...seriously!"

You must be thinking that I have such a doting boyfriend or a devoted hubby,so ready, so eager to please me. Let me clear your misconception. This is not my boyfriend trying to cheer me up or working hard to make my day special. These statements come from the varied salesmen adorning Palika Bazaar, all trying to sell this or that paraphernalia of theirs. I'm sure there are many such palikas,lajpats and sarojinis in Delhi as well as other states where you will find salesmen hounding you to purchase a cellphone cover, a cute purse, some t-shirts and the like. And believe it or not, after a time you feel as if you really need them, be they pretty shoes or nice earrings or even drab socks. My friends and I spent our Valentine's in such a place.

There are five kinds of people on the basis of their reaction to Valentine's day. One, who ardently follow the concept and make elaborate preparations to mark the day. Two, those who are ambivalent and are not sure about the degree of importance they want to accord to the occasion. Couples can fall in both the above categories. Third, those who tag themselves as 'forever alone' and flaunt their single status on social networks by trolling or putting up snarky statuses. Fourth, those who use the day as an excuse to celebrate and rejoice. Fifth, those who don't discriminate between one day and the next ; for whom the next day unfolds without them realizing the previous one has gone.

I guess we decided to put ourselves in the fourth category. My friends and I planned to utilize this Saturday and this Valentine by meeting up after many many months. As usual, we were in a fix about the venue. But then someone suggested the official universal female pastime and we jumped at the idea. We went to CP, loaded ourselves with oodles of cheese, pizza and even more cheese at Sbarro and proceeded to Delhi's first underground market, Palika. That was our moment of vainglory. A horde of guys begging us to buy or to simply check out their 'stuff' , calling us endearingly , offering us mind blowing discounts, behaving more submissively than a slave, professing their devotion to us (even though make-believe; by the way, even make-believe devotion is sweet to girls) openly and calling us over and over even as we rebuffed and slighted them, moving ahead like proud princesses. Such a vanity booster as that, was a high that I realized must be the reason I was a shopaholic, as are all the other women. The kind of attention one gets, the feeling of importance one enjoys, the satisfaction of rejecting and disdaining something you don't like and the pleasure of being chased relentlessly making one feel highly needed and wanted, almost like some guy madly in love with you. So what better way to spend one's Valentine than by getting pampered, cosseted, pursued and feeling special? Multiple men smiling at you and wanting you and you spurning them , what better high, what better celebration and what better ego booster? Add to that our group's private jokes, stealing glances at mushy couples and giggling at their mushiness, pitying couples who started out with the hope and the setting for a perfect evening but ended up in an inconsequential argument, empathizing with folks who either can't be with their better halves or those who don't have any such halves; all the while loving each others' company which was replete in itself sans any expectation, any duty. I must say I had a beautiful Valentine's, chock-full of narcissistic moments and queenly treatment.

Valentines this year we had many,

but we chose not to have any

Special we felt, putting on airs

Without any conditions, without any cares

My Years In Jamia

I was a young adult, fresh out of the sheltered arms of my school. College life is every teen’s dream, hence, with high aspirations, great expectations and slight apprehension, I set foot on the grounds of JMI, to an altogether different milieu. My hopes battled with my perceptions as I struggled to adjust to the simple unadorned environment- the unaccustomed reality of my college life. Constant cribbing and aversion to the surroundings gradually gave way to blooming fondness as I discovered simplicity in place of severity, candour in place of crudeness, love in place of oblivion. And three years passed thus.

Those long late night conversations, trolling on facebook, the string of comments on a single status- my heart lurches when I see it all drawing to a close. One semester left. I think of the day about three years ago when we used to discuss amongst yourselves about how we will pass these four long years in a college which does not host a good fest, does not have enough exposure and is ridden with rules and regulations. It was a place where I would be bound for four years by shackles of attendance, classes, assignments, unreasonable teachers, empty canteens and envying my peers who were in fancy colleges like DU where fests were a rage, celebs were a regular affair and life was one big party.

Then a picture appears in the kaleidoscope of my mind- celebrating a friend’s birthday in McD, roaming the streets in CC, eating chhole bhature from the central canteen, standing on the benches in the classroom posing as models, playing temple run in the back seat while the lecture went on, chewing gum and blowing bubbles amidst giggles, spending hours chatting in the parking lot…  

There had been so many firsts during my college years-the first time I organized an event, the first extempore that I won, the first face painting contest we won…I remember my buddy’s painted face and how we posed and shouted and screamed in joy…Those dance practices in the first-year classes...the first nukkad naatak we won- oh the jubilation on our faces! What with the sleepless nights spent working away for the magazine, staying till late in college for the meetings and the work, the bohemia and fervour that took hold of us during the fests, the feeling of unity in everyone from teachers to students to the lab assistant Imran bhai, it made me feel like a part of one big family.   

I remember bunking my Software Engineering class to watch ‘Bhaag Milkha’- sloshing about in the heavy rain with drenched socks and shoes. And the umpteen poses we made to get a photo clicked. And our endless chats while leaning on the corridor railing. And our frantic search for a lady teacher to accompany us to Goa. And those walks to the bus stop with friends, chatting and laughing.

It takes a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye…    

Today I am poised over a crossroads, where I have no idea what the future will hold, what people I will meet and what will become of my career.

Some of us will rush aboard the ship of the future. Others may be more hesitant. Some of us will have plenty of baggage to bring; others will travel lightly. One thing that we will all bring is our memories...I used to feel so wrongfooted when I first stepped in Jamia, I go out now, surefooted…taking with me –wisdom, experience, memories and the tag of a JMIite…

-published in Carousel- the annual magazine of IEEE-JMI

The Vicious Circle

The black Sedan inched its way slowly through the traffic. A young man in a black dapper two-piece suit sat in the rear seat, fiddling about with some buttons on his 8-inch touchpad. Another man, slightly older, was at the wheel, sweating away, despite the lowest possible temperature of the aircon. He wore a brownish white shirt and similar hued pants, which looked as if they were worn everyday without washing. The driver applied the brakes suddenly as the car in front of him jerked to an abrupt halt. A second man, barely a man but a boy, younger than both the men in the car but as shabbily dressed as the driver, sat in the passenger seat beside the driver's, both timid and pleased, trying to gauge the situation but mostly keeping to himself.

"Shit!", exclaimed the smartly dressed man in black at the back. "Shit! I will be late again! This place will never improve!"

The traffic moved painfully slow, increasing the man's impatience and making him swear. The driver tried to make a left cut into the service lane. But that happened to be a bad idea. The lane was narrow and many other drivers had had similar thoughts, hence cramming their vehicles into the congested lane. There looked to be no way out. Except for moving in first gear. The driver moved on, the owner providing him a fillip via his invectives. All of a sudden, a dog ran in front of the car, tottering and puttering about, unable to decide which side to move and then finally dashed to the left, thus making the driver swerve violently to the right and jerk to a stop. There was a sickening crunch and the owner looked up, livid. He finally extricated his eyes from the tab, abandoned it for the time being and got out of the car, slamming the door. The car's right front headlight had smashed into the pavement on the right. In a bid to save the dog, the driver had driven it straight into the pavement, stopping just in time before a huge dent could be inflicted on the door.

The man's face grew red and he snatched the driver's shirt collar, shaking him violently. He slapped him twice. Thrice. Hard. So that the red of his fingers marked their shape on his cheek while the other boy looked on, agitated. The onlookers now had a scene to behold and their frustration on the traffic sort of abated a little. The other guy in the car had got out by now and watched the owner manhandle his driver, punch him in the face and once in the ribs, all the while raining expletives on him. The younger boy's heart went out to the driver, feeling embarrassed at such an erosion of dignity and the loss of self-respect. The driver’s face was expressionless, his head bowed while he bore the treatment inflicted by his employer on him. The other guy wondered if the amount would be deducted from his meagre salary. Perhaps it would. After the owner of the car had his fill of the other's dignity, they set off and finally reached a large bungalow where he resided. The car had to be taken for repair. Before that, the servants proceeded to a nearby tea stall to shake off the episode. The younger man brought two cups of tea, offering one to the injured driver.

"Where are the biscuits?", he demanded and the young servant went to get some biscuits. "Here", he handed them to the driver, who began to sip his tea, one hot sip at a time. "Aaaak-thoooo!!", the driver spat the tea out on the young servant, his shirt and a part of his chin bearing the brunt. "What kind of tea was this?", he ordered and scolded his younger counterpart for a crappy tea. The boy looked at him, astonished at the change in his behavior, indignant at the treatment he had received after his sympathy and feelings for him. When the older servant crumpled and threw the cup away, the boy’s feelings for him had evaporated. In its place, was born a lingering dislike, a feeling that the man had been given an apt deal by the employer. He went away, his faith shaken.     

- published on YourStoryClub

The Bedi-Tug of Kejri-War

The political scene at the Centre is posing stiff competition to the Delhi winters, what with its hotness quotient. For once, with a strong ruler at the centre, BJP has played its card carefully and has saved the best for the last. The sudden induction of Kiran Bedi was meant to be a master stroke. But whether it turns out to be a trump card or a damp squib remains to be seen. Kiran Bedi has been the symbol of substance, discipline, female power, integrity and everything one could hope for in a minister. She has experience and she is committed to her cause. For long, she has been sidelined and shunned by corrupt bureaucrats, who didn't see eye to eye with her owing to her straightforward, honest and effective ways of tackling law and order. From being thrown in remote areas to being demoted, she has seen it all. Having taken early retirement, she sided with Anna Hazare in the Lokpal movement but broke away from Kejriwal’s party.

But did BJP really need her? Did BJP really need an outsider to win the elections? The Modi wave threatens to sweep AAP away with its ostentatious Swachh Bharat and Make in India campaigns. But the party biggies must have realized that Delhi was a crucial election and if it failed to secure a majority in this, it would jinx the Modi magic in a way that might give the opposition fresh hope. The party needs to make hay while the sun shines and so it was exceedingly imperative for them to pit a diamond against a diamond. And that they did. Modi found someone like him, someone sans family ties and reputed to be authoritative and sturdy. Understandably, it created ripples in the party, as it upset the long standing members who felt unduly neglected in return for their devotion and long years of work for the party. It looks like a repeat of the LS polls, when Mr. Modi replaced the top brass like Advani and Joshi to become the PM candidate. Mr. Modi sure seems to be following his principle of minimum government, shrinking his cabinet and reducing it to a select few, whom he can supervise. It doesn't look like BJP at all, but MnM, Modi and Modi. Perhaps he feels that too many cooks spoil the broth, that too many ministers mean too many sops. He seems to have taken fancy to the hobbesian concept.

When the party realized that the Modi rally in Delhi did not achieve as high inputs as it could have expected, owing to the Modi effect, Shah put on his thinking cap and came up with a failsafe solution. Bring in someone untainted. Like Harsh Vardhan, the previous CM candidate from BJP, who was chosen precisely on such grounds. To match up to the concept of “change” and “new” and corruption-free, the principles that AAP espouses, BJP put forward a face that had no connection with scams or deals but had a strong reputation and influential record in the government. The consideration of Kiran Bedi for CM is a dream come true for many, especially the middle class, which formed a major vote base of AAP. After Mr. Kejriwal’s abdication of the Delhi chair, AAP lost a good section of this voter base which Ms. Bedi seeks to grab. If she does become the CM, atleast law and order ought to see a revampment. One can hope for more safety for women and a better response to heinous assaults on women than Mrs. Dixit’s “women should keep off the streets at night”.

But what happens when two hard taskmasters come together? Going by Kiran Bedi’s track record, she doesn’t brook any nonsense, any injustice. She might not be an eloquent speaker but she is a tough taskmaster. But will she tolerate the RSS’s communal agenda? Will she speak out against spurious speakers like Sadhvi and Sakshi Maharaj and incidents like church conflagrations, love jihad and ghar wapsi, thus inviting the party’s displeasure or prefer to take a euphemistic approach by sealing her lips and ignoring it all like light hearted banter in the light of big things like law and order and development on the lines of our PM’s course of action? What if Ms Bedi does not like some decision the PM takes? Or some order given to her does not resonate with her principles? Will she too abdicate her throne or will she last longer than Kejri’s 49-day stint?

Also, how healthy is it for a democracy to have the same party in the country and the same party at the Centre? Does it bode well when the string of ordinances threaten to choke the parliamentary procedure or when the media is hushed up and the detractors compelled to concede defeat? Or when industrialization and land acquisitions gain say over the displacement of poor farmers threatened by homelessness and displacement?

It looks to be a very tough choice between Ms Bedi and Mr. Kejriwal. One is former IPS, known for her impartial crackdown on wrongs and breaches of law and order. It almost looks like Ms. Bedi will host ‘AAP’ ki Kachhehri soon. On the other side of the fence is former IRS, known for his firebrand activism and (in)famous dharnas. He shot to fame with his humble weapon, and wielded more magic with his broom than a witch ever could with hers. The comparison cannot be based on qualifications or track record though, because if that were the case, then our erstwhile PM Manmohan Singh, with his noteworthy qualifications and impeccable record as the FM, would win a hundred times over our current PM, who had less education than you and me and the taint of communal riots on his trademark waistcoat.

The winner in all this may as yet be unknown. But the loser is pretty clear. In all this quagmire, no one seems to realize the ‘decongressization’  of the country. The supporters of Congress have been divided by the rise of AAP. Where BJP retains its right wing vote base, the leftists are confused between AAP and Congress. Chanakyaneeti or the concept of divide and rule has been played exceptionally well in this game of thrones.

So, how do we make our choice? Whom do we trust? Can Ms. Bedi be the messiah who will solve all the problems? Or will she be disillusioned by the power play or the centralization of power in the hands of a few (read one)? Can Mr. Kejriwal deliver on his promise of ‘5 saal, kejriwal’ or will he quit within 5 days this time round? Whoever wins, let’s hope we, the people, are not the losers.